Connections
by LovelyTomorrow
Summary: Takes off right before Rebel Angels ends and turns into my ideal of a third book. Please R


**Connections**

Summary: Takes off right before _Rebel Angels_ ends and moves into a third book, somehow...its still a work in progress. Tell me if you'd like it to progress.

"Where are you going?" I demand, storming into his room, knowing I will shock him with my directness.

"Miss Doyle," Kartik begins, raising from his chair. I see he had been eating. I feel almost guilty that he is alone, though I don't know why. It is an absurd thought. "I don't understand."

"Where are you going?" I say again, "I know you are not staying here in London, for no one of my family will have any need of a driver now that they are not going to be here, so I must know where you are going."

He takes a moment to absorb this then smiles, "Why do you wish to know?"

"It is of importance to me. This business I have with you is far from over--we both know that--and I may need you some time in the future, so I must know where to find you," I shrug, making sure to sound very professional.

"I'm always around," he cocks his head to the side as if trying to decipher my true motives.

I sigh, "The vagueness of that answer is growing more and more infuriating."

He smiles again and moves closer to me, "I'm sorry, Miss Doyle, I did not mean to infuriate you."

My mind tells me to back away and is deeply shocked by his boldness, but my heart urges me take a step foreword and wrap my arms around his muscular body. I compromise and stay put. "Then tell me, where are you going?"

His smile fades as he realizes I will not leave the matter alone. "In truth, I do not know. I go wherever they will take me."

"Who?" His answer confuses me. He is speaking in metaphors; he has been reading _The Odyssey _too long.

"Whomever will take me," he shrugs.

His nonchalance scares me, and I raise both eyebrows to him in a most unattractive way, "But that is hardly safe! Traveling all over England looking for someone to house you? What if you get picked up by a criminal? A lunatic? Or a murderer?"

"Well, I do pray that that doesn't happen," Karitk leans against the stable wall. I can't help but think how dirty it must be and want to urge him off of it. I don't. "But do not fret, Miss Doyle, I am well able to take care of myself."

I remember the many times Kartik has saved me from undoubted doom, and blush at the smirk he is giving me. I decide to change the subject, not liking the feeling of being the helpless damsel. "Well, you know I will be leaving for Spence tomorrow."

He nods, "As will I." A chill goes up by back as I imagine Kartik at Spence, watching my every move. The feeling excites me.

"Yes," I nod. "I should go," I decide, "Must be rested for my return, and I've been so very tired lately." I drop that last bit as bait, to see if he will bite. He has yet to question me about my health, as everyone else has been doing and I have begun to wonder if he knew I was ill at all.

"Ah, yes," he bites and comes off the wall, "How are you feeling?" he asks with a hint of scolding in his voice. He knows I did not have a fever; he knows it was the magic taking its toll on me.

"Much better, thank you," I happily ignore the reproach and answer as if it were not there.

"Good," he nods, "I am happy to hear it."

I nod with him, not knowing what to say next. I do not want to leave, so I search my brain for a new topic. Nothing will come except for our business, The Order, and I would rather speak of Emily's virtues than The Order. Kartik is still staring at me, as if I am the sphinx. It reminds me of something, but I can't think of what, then I do: it reminds me of Simon.

"So," he finally speaks again, "Have you said all your farewells?"

I am thrilled to have something to say. "Yes, Felicity and Ann have already left; I've said goodbye to Grandmamma and Father, and Tom is seeing me off tomorrow, so I will bid him farewell then."

He cast his eyes downward and barely mumbles, "And Mr. Middleton?"

I get a jolt at his obvious jealousy. "Yes," I tell him easily, "We had a dinner earlier this evening."

He nods slowly, "He must be heartbroken to see his betrothed leave London."

_Well, he is heartbroken. _I feel as if I should tell him how I left the broach with Simon, how I broke off our supposed engagement, but I don't. "Yes, I've promised to write to him."

"Ah, then he will survive," he smiles bitterly. "How wonderful for him."

His spite is starting to bother me, so press him on. "He's asked me what type of ring I fancy," I lie.

"Wonderful," he turns from me, now angered. "Perhaps I will bring Emily to Spence with me." He is being malicious, taking advantage of my jealousy, but no more malicious than I. "Then we'll both be happily accompanied."

"Yes, what a perfect idea," I practically spit out, still keeping a pleasant face. "Although," a new scheme develops in my head, "I've heard our Emily has her eyes on another."

I can see his brow furrow, even though he is looking down, "Another?"

I pause before continuing, forming the story in my head, "Yes, I'm afraid. I overheard her speaking with Ms. Jones. She is very excited about him, a Mr. Kent, I believe." I pull the name of Mademoiselle LeFarge's gentleman out of the air, and pray he doesn't realize. "An admiral's son. He is very wealthy, but so in love with our Emily that his is willing to marry below his station." I've called her 'our Emily' twice now, and will myself to stop for I fear it is making me sound pompous. "It's terribly romantic," I nod, still not knowing if he has believed a word.

He looks up at me, finally, a look of hurt on his face, and I suddenly feel as though I deserve to be tortured for hours in Hell.

"Are you all right?" I try pitifully.

"Fine," he neutralizes his face, "I just…I didn't know. She never said."

"Well, she wouldn't to _you_, now would she?" I have become too easy a liar; I blame Felicity.

He lets out a small smirk, "No, I suppose not. Well, good for her. She deserves a good man."

"Indeed," I agree, hating myself for hurting him. "I'm not engaged," the words spring from my mouth without me telling them to.

"You…" he is confused, "I thought Mr. Middleton…"

"Yes, well, he gave me a broach--a pearl broach. It was beautiful, really. I kept it for a little while, but…I gave it back to him this evening. The engagement is broken."

"Why?" he shakes his head.

"He doesn't know me," I answered and suddenly found his eyes. I stared into them for moment, realizing that Kartik knew my deep, dark secret and didn't run scared. I _wanted _to say, "Not like _you _know me." Instead, I said, "No one knows me."

He laughs at this, "Ah, yes, the enigma of Gemma Doyle. A very difficult riddle to solve."

I laugh with him, "I _am _a puzzle."

"And the man who solves you wins your heart?"

"You could say that."

"Well, I hope you find him," he tells me kindly. He looks at me with a dreamy care. I am the only woman in the world when he looks at me.

"I already have," I barely whisper and then hope I have dreamed my outburst.

He stops laughing, "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that."

I am a mess with revelation and want to run for my life, "I already have." I want to slap my mouth for betraying me.

"What do you mean? What have you already done?" he really has no idea, which makes this even more painful.

"I've found him--the man who has solved my puzzle."

He doesn't understand what I am implying. "Oh," he, again, seems hurt, "Well, that's wonderful for you." He feels as though he has lost two women in one night. I want to embrace him.

"No, Kartik. You! You are the man who has figured me out! You own my heart," my last statement comes out as a frightened whisper. My heart beats a loud as thunder while I wait for his response.

He opens his mouth, but Tom's voice is the next one I hear. "Gemma!" Toms calls; he sounds worried and agitated, although more the latter than the former. "Gem-ma!" he yells again. The faint glow of a lantern illuminates the stables and before either Kartik or I think to hide, we are found. Tom stares for a moment at the two of us, wondering all sorts of horrid things, I'm sure, then his brow furrows firmly. "Gemma Doyle, what in the world do you think you are doing down here?"

"I--" my voice was no more than an undertone.

"Well?" Tom pressed.

"Sir," Kartik stepped between me and my brother, arms extended to him, "Miss Doyle meant no harm--"

"It's not _you _I was concerned for, Mr. Kartik," Tom sneers in Kartik's face as if he is talking to a criminal.

"Tom," I interject, wanting to slap him, "I was simply…s-saying my final goodbyes to Mr. Kartik. He has served us so faithfully these past weeks, I didn't want to seem ungrateful."

I could tell Tom was holding back another sneer at Mr. Kartik 'serving us faithfully,' but decided to scold me instead, "And you couldn't pick a more acceptable hour to give your thanks? Really, Gemma, Grandmamma is beside herself with worry. She went in to say goodnight to you and found you weren't in bed. She thought you kidnapped or worse!"

"I'm very sorry. It was a foolish thing to do," I made my way to Tom's side, away from Kartik, refusing to look at him in the eye. "Goodnight, Mr. Kartik, and, again, thank you for everything."

"Yes, um," he clears his throat, "You're very welcome, Miss Doyle."

"All right, Gemma, you've thanked the driver, now back in the house, this instant," Tom barked, sounding like my father rather than my brother. I obey his order and scurry out of the stables, hating myself for saying what I said, and hating myself even more for not knowing what he would have said. _Oh, don't fool yourself, Gemma. You know what we would have said._ I did. He would have said that I was nothing but a job to him. He would have laughed at me for thinking he had any feelings other than official ones for me. On the way back to the house, my eyes stung with salt hitting the cold winter air. As my tears dropped quietly, Tom walked on, not noticing, and I confined myself to the company of my own mind.

THE NEXT DAY I WAS FEELING NO BETTER, AND GRANDMAMMA was about ready to have my head for the almost-scandal that had occurred last night. But, being a gentlewoman, she calmly wished me a sweet goodbye and gave me Father's regards. When Kartik went to help me into our carriage, Tom stepped in front of him and helped me himself. If I wasn't so absorbed in what Kartik's gesture had meant, I might have laughed at Tom's pettiness.

Tom spoke to me on the way to the train station about Simon, who he had eaten breakfast with that morning. Simon was apparently understanding at my refusal to marry him. He claimed that it must be because I am not yet old enough for a husband and haven't had a chance to mature. Tom leaned in close to me, "And then I said, 'Gemma? Oh, my man, I will marry a whore when my sister shows any sign of maturity'." He laughed at his own joke as I'm sure he did when he told it the first time.

I rolled my eyes, "So he wasn't upset?"

"No, not really," Tom sits back against the carriage, "Although I don't know what exactly you're thinking, sister. You will be hard pressed to find a better man than Simon Middleton."

It is apparent that Kartik is listening when he becomes distracted by Tom and nearly runs us into another carriage. However, he stops us just in time and continues on, Tom muttering something about Indians. I truly wish for Circe to raise up and kill me here and now. When she doesn't, I settle for a subject change, "Well, dear brother, you will be hard pressed to find a better woman than Miss Bradshaw."

"I've no doubt," he smiles. I pray he never finds out of Ann's true identity, not until they are happily married and he is too in love with her to care. If it can hypothetically happen for Emily, I don't see why it can't happen for Ann.

We arrive at the station and find that the train is not there. Tom checks his pocket watch a dozen times, before pronouncing that there is no efficient transportation in England today. This comment is not lost on Kartik, but he stays quiet as a good driver should. After ten minutes of waiting, Tom decides to check and see what is happening with the train's late arrival, and insists that I stay in the carriage. I cringe, knowing that this will leave me alone with Kartik without the armor of my brother.

Once Tom is gone, Kartik takes his time coming down off the driver's seat and invites himself to sit by me in the carriage, where no one can see us. "What do you think you're doing?" I pretend to be appalled, when I simply do not want him humiliating me.

"I have to talk to you," he demands, closing the carriage door behind him. "What you said last night--"

"I have no desire to speak to you about that," I stop him, "I-I was confused. I meant none of it."

He froze, then smiled, "I don't believe you."

"You're a foolish man, then," I shrug, willing him to go away.

"Gemma, listen. What you said last night, I…you surprised me. I didn't know what to say."

"You needed say nothing. It was but a joke."

"But I thought about it, and…I…I feel the same way," he looks at me with a flicker of hope in his eyes.

All my defenses have crumbled, "You do?"

He smiles, showing all his brilliant white teeth, "I do, but…" My happiness faded. 'But…' He does not love me. He is being polite. I feel as though I will be sick. "But," he continues, "I can't…"

"You can't?" Tears prick my eyes again, "What in the world do you mean by that? Of course you can. You won't."

"Gemma, don't cry," he reaches for me, but I flinch away. "I…you're of a different class, Gemma. It would never be accepted."

"I've told you; I don't care about that," I wipe at my tears wildly.

"But your family does. You saw Tom's face last night when he found you with me--"

"Since when do I give a flying frig what Tom thinks is best for me?"

"It's not just Tom. Your grandmother feels the same way, and your father, too. I'm sure your mother--"

"Don't you dare speak of my mother!" I yell at him through tears. He is not the Kartik I've known. My Kartik doesn't care about being accepted and stupid things like that. "My mother would only want my happiness, no matter how I got it."

He is quiet and watches me sob. "Gemma," he reaches for me again, and this time I have no strength to deny him. I cry into his shoulder, and he gently strokes my back, holding me to him. This closeness only makes everything more difficult, but I cannot pull myself away. I love him so wholly, even more than I'd realized. "I'll still be around, Gemma. I'm not going to leave you." He is offering me all the support he can, but we both know it isn't enough.

"How will I ever be able to be around you?" I sob.

He pauses; he does not know, "We'll figure something out."

"No," I back away from him, " I don't want to figure it out. Why tease me? If you don't love me--"

"I _do _love you," he cries desperately.

I cannot speak. It is the first time I have heard these words from a man who is not related to me. A new plan forms in my head. "I'll be at Spence," I declare.

"Yes," he doesn't understand.

"I'll be at Spence until Easter, Kartik! I won't even speak to one member of my family until then. Why can't we be together? No one needs to know."

"And then what will happen at Easter? We end it? I won't be able to," his words are soft, as if seeing me crying has invoked tears in his own throat.

"No. We are quiet about it. I know it is not desirable to play along with their foolish games of class and such, but we will, just around them." I feel brilliant.

"And when they marry you off? I work as your butler?" he wrinkles his nose.

"I won't marry anyone but you," I make sure to stare into his eyes when I say this, so that he knows I mean it. "I'll make it a scandal: a good British girl marrying a rugged Indian man? They'll never want to see me again."

"You don't want that," he says, knowing me too well.

"Then we'll give you an identity, just like we did Ann. No one will ever find out," I am pleading with him.

"Gemma," he smiles at my determination.

"Kartik, I love you," I grab both his hands firmly, "I'm a very stubborn girl. I'm not going to give you up."

We both smile, and he moves foreword toward me and places his lips on mine. It is a rush of excitement and joy as I kiss him back. His hands hold my face, and I, in turn, wrap my arms around his neck. When, we brake the kiss, he leans his forehead against mine, "Those are all issues to be discussed at a later time. For now, you will go to Spence and while you're there," he looks around deviously, "No one needs to know a thing."

I squeal in a most unladylike fashion and kiss him again. He laughs through the kiss and holds me close to him. Then, we hear the loud whistle of the approaching train. We both jump at the sound, and poor Kartik hits his head on the carriage roof. After I tend far too much at Kartik's potential injury, he helps me out of the carriage as if nothing had happened. I hate being in the eye of society again where I cannot be held by my beloved.

Tom comes rushing up to tell us that the train has arrived, and I tell him that both Mr. Kartik and I have well functioning eyes and can see this very plainly. He rolls his eyes at me and goes to get my bags. Kartik, too, picks up a few of my things, and I suddenly feel guilt-ridden about how many bags I have with me for two weeks at home. Kartik makes a quick trip so that he can return to the carriage before Tom. "When do you get to Spence?" he asks me discreetly.

"I should be there by tomorrow afternoon," I answer, finding it hard not to smile.

"Then I shall be at your room tomorrow night," he decides.

A chill goes up my back and I want to hug him, but I restrain myself. "I'm going to miss you terribly," I tell him.

He smiles, "It will only be a day."

"It will be the longest day of my life," I sigh and turn towards him. I start to bring my hand to his so that he can hold it, but Tom again approaches and ruins my moment.

"Well, that'd be the last of it, then. Come on, Gemma, time to board." He places a hand on my back and ushers me toward the train.

I cannot contain myself any longer. I throw my arms around Kartik, and his shock is not entirely acted. "Goodbye, Mr. Kartik."

He smiles as I release him, "Goodbye, Miss Doyle."

Tom snickers and practically pushes me into the train. "Honestly, Gemma, you grow far to attached to the help."

I look back at Kartik half a dozen times before the train leaves the station and I am off to school. I cannot take the smile off of my face. Tom is trying to find a comfortable spot in our cabin. "You seem rather joyful."

"I'm excited," I laugh, "I'm going back to school." I couldn't wait to get to Spence for two reasons: 1, I would see Kartik again and 2, I finally had news to tell my friends that didn't involve The Order.

FELICITY AND ANN ARE AS BUBBLY AND EXCITED AS ME WHEN they learn of MY news about Kartik. We all sit in Felicity's tent as I tell them about it. "And then he leaned in and kissed me!" I tell them and they shriek just as I had.

"Right there?" Ann is astonished, "But Tom could have come back at any moment!"

"I know!" I cry, "It was so exciting."

"It's dangerous, Gemma," Felicity is simply glad to hear that Simon was out of the picture, "You could have been scandalized."

"Oh, hush," I scold her, "Allow me a moment of happiness, will you?"

"It's so romantic, Gemma," Ann smiles, "Pip would love it."

We all freeze at this. None of us have spoken of Pippa since I bound the magic.

"Yes, I'm sure she would," Felicity sweeps it under the rug, "When do you see Kartik again?"

"Tonight," I tell them. We all squeal again. "I cannot wait. It has been so hard to be away from him."

Ann looks as if she will cry, "Oh, Gemma, you are truly in love."

"I am," I nod to her and grab both of their hands to keep from crying again, "I really am."



I have cleverly snuck out of desert with all the girls and teachers. I have yet to see Miss McCleethy, though I suspect archery will be an interesting experience tomorrow.

After waiting for a half hour, I am beginning to worry that something has happened to Kartik. I imagine that the Rakshana have found him and are holding him hostage, or perhaps Circe has come after him in an attempt to get to me. Then, I hear a tiny rapping at the window and my heart soars. I go to greet him and open my window wide for him. I assist him in climbing into my room before wrapping my arms around him so tightly that we fall back onto my bed, with me on top of him. "Gemma," he laughs as we fall.

I brake from our hug and smile down at him "Kartik," I say breathlessly before leaning in to kiss him.

After a bit, he pulls away from the kiss and smiles up at me, "Well, hello."

I laugh and roll off of him, so I am lying next to him on my bed, "I missed you," I tell him and lean on my elbow so that I am facing him.

"And I missed you," he cannot help but smile. It is adorable. I decide that I need to be closer to him and lay my head down on his chest. It is bold of me, but he does not miss a beat and runs his fingers through my hair. It feels incredible.

"Where are you staying?" I ask him, absently playing with the buttons of his brown vest.

"I don't know yet; I've just arrived."

"And you came here before finding living accommodations?"

"I am a man in love; I do foolish things."

I smile at this, then reach up and kiss him.

"But I'll find a place to live," he says after the kiss, "I always do."

"But that was before…" _Before I ruined everything. Before you gave your life up for me._

"Shh," he places a finger on my lips, "Don't you worry that pretty head about me."

"Mmm," I hum and take hold of his finger. I kiss the tip of it slowly, loving the taste.

"C'mere, you," he laughs at me and pulls me back on top of him. He holds me close to himself. My corset pushes my breasts up, they are squeezed and wanting attention in the low cut dress I've put on for him. He takes notice of them and then looks back at me, asking me if it's all right. The want in his eyes fills me up. It's magical. I have an idea.

"Wait," I tell him. He stops instantly, hoping he hasn't done something to make me cross. "Take my hand," I tell him, and he obeys. I concentrate. We are falling. It is a familiar feeling for me, but for Kartik it is terrifying.

"Gemma!" he calls out in fear. "No, Gemma, stop!" he tells me when he realizes what I'm up to.

"It's all right," I tell him. The door of light appears. Kartik refuses to go through it. "Go on, it won't hurt you." I am forced to push him through the door of light, and I follow in after. Kartik has entered them realms.



The garden looks just as it did the first time we came to the realms. The trees are high; the grass is healthy; the flowers are everywhere. It is beautiful. Kartik is looking about as if he has seen the face of God. "It's magnificent!" he tells me in awe.

"I told you," I stay close to him as he looks about. "Look," I bend down and touch a flower and it transforms into a dozen butterflies. Kartik's eyes grow wide.

"That's incredible!" he shakes his head as if he doesn't believe it.

"I know," I smile at his pleasure and pull at his hand, "Come on, lay with me." He smiles and obliges. He lay beside me in the smooth, green grass and we intertwine our fingers.

"You did all this?" he asks me, still looking around.

"Oh, I…I don't know; I suppose I did," I ponder. "Is that how it works? Whomever binds the magic controls the realms?"

He shrugs, "I know as much as you."

"Why yes," I realize, "I suppose you do." We lay in silence for a moment, then I turn to him in excitement. "Would you like to see the Temple?" I ask. "After finally finding it, it seems foolish to leave it totally unattended."

He lazily stretches his arms above his head, "Is it far?"

"No, not really, and if we ride on the Gorgon it will be no time at all."

"The Gorgon?" his face darkens, and I can tell he is worrying.

"Yes," I sit up, "She's harmless, really."

"You trust this Gorgon," he too sits up. He is beginning to sound like the Kartik from the Rakshana. His skeptical tone is bothering me.

"I do," I raise one eyebrow at him, daring him to do doubt me.

"But, Gemma…" He has accepted the dare, and I am infuriated.

I spring up, in a rush of power, "No! I won't listen to any more of your warnings or scolding. You are very new to the realms--a novice--and I come here almost everyday. I am an intelligent girl. I know who is trustworthy and who is not." I think of Miss Moore and am happy not to have told him of her. "If I--the Most High, Lady Hope--can trust the Gorgon, then you--Mr. Kartik--have no right to do anything else." I sound rather arrogant as I finish up my little rant, but I do not care. Kartik is speechless. I have stunned him into silence. After a few moments of me staring down at him, I ask him for his response.

He rises cautiously. "Well, all right, then. To the Gorgon," he nods, and I happily take his hand, to take him to the Gorgon.

Then, the sinking feeling sets in, and I quickly release his hand for a vision is approaching.

In an instant, Kartik has vanished before me. I am still in the garden, but I am alone. There is a low moaning coming from behind a tree. _It seems I'm not alone after all._ When I go to investigate the noise, I find a young girl sobbing in a tight ball, her arms wrapped tightly around her knees.

She has dark hair and very pale skin. As she hears me approaching she lifts her head. Tears and soil have dirtied her pretty face, but behind it I can see her apparent beauty. It is Pippa. "Gemma," she sobs, relived to see that it is me, "Help me; I'm scared. I don't like it there."

"Where?" I bend down to see her.

"There are horrible things there, Gemma," her eyes go wide with fright. "Hideous and horrible! But I'm not a horrible thing, am I? I'm not a horrible thing. I'm not!" She cannot contain herself.

"Shh," I wipe her tears away. "You are not a horrible thing," my skin goes cold as the words fall from my mouth, like the feeling of guilt that one gets from telling a little white lie.

She grabs onto my hands for support. Her fingers are bony and freezing. I want to pull away, because they make me uneasy. "Help, me, Gemma," she gets a look of hope in her eyes, "You have the power. Help me out of that place!"

"What place? Pip, I don't know what you mean."

Suddenly, a fierce fire erupts behind Pippa's eyes. The flames glow brightly in her sockets, replacing the gentle blue that had been there. She holds onto me tighter, and I try to move away. I can't. She has me trapped. "The Winterlands, Most High," Pippa's voice has transformed to a mocking, sneering, almost demonic noise. It is horrifying. "She cries, Most High, cries all the time." I try to speak, but when I open my mouth, no words will come out. Whatever has control over Pippa's body knows me and knows her. I am frightened for my friend. "She thinks you will save her, Most High. Doesn't know that you don't care," the voice sneers at me, and brakes into a cackle. Pippa's skin has become dry and looks as though it will crack. Her hair becomes gray.

"I care," I promise, holding back my tears. "She had to cross over," I plead, hoping the real Pippa can hear me, wherever she is.

Pippa's hands move to the sides of my face in a slow, melodic motion. They pull me in to her. Pippa looks like my friend again, and there is a look of excitement on her face, as if she has a piece of juicy gossip to share. "She's going to watch you die," she lets out in no more than a sharp whisper. Pippa smirks at me as the fire returns to her eyes and overflows them, pouring out onto her face and continuing to spread down her body. Just before the flames reach her hands, I, horrified, pushed her away. As my dear friend became incased in flames entirely, I let out a magnificent scream.

"Gemma!" Kartik is frantic when I open my eyes and come out of the vision. "Gemma, are you all right?"

"Fine," I tell him as he helps me up. I've somehow ended up on the ground, apparently. My throat is sore from the scream.

"What was that?" he is trying to catch his breath.

"A vision."

He turns toward me, and his eyes go wide with shock. "A vision," he repeats, stunned.

"Yes, you remember. It's how we met. My mother was a member of the Order? She passed on the gift to me--?"

He smirks at my teasing. "I just meant…I didn't know they were so--?"

"Powerful?" I suggest. He meets my eyes, agreeing. "That's the problem, isn't it?"



When I bring us back into my room after Kartik's stubborn existence on me getting some rest, there is an insistent knocking on the door, so he leaves through the window. After I open the door, a furious Felicity storms in, followed by Ann, less angry and more distressed.

"You wretched girl!" Felicity screeches at me, pointing with a horribly fierce finger. "We know what you were doing in here!"

"Doing?" I try desperately to play dumb, but apparently my lying skills falter in the presence of a professional.

"You went into the realms, didn't you?" she sneers at me.

"I…" I look to Ann for support, but she has gone to sit on her bed, face down and sullen. "Ann," I gladly use her attitude as a distraction, "Whatever is the matter?"

"Oh, nothing," Felicity sees through me, "Don't change the subject. You brought that Indian into the realms. You went in without me; you promised you wouldn't."

"He is not 'that Indian', his name is Kartik," I tell her, actually offended for Kartik.

"I don't care what his name is!" she is fuming. "You are using your power without me! You feel you're better than I am!"

"Felicity," I sigh, "That's not true."

"Oh, no? Then look me in the eye and tell me you were not in the realms when we came to the door."

I cannot. "I was with Kartik. I told you I would be."

"You cannot do it," she is triumphant. "Well, I hope you enjoyed your time in your precious realms, Gemma. I am deeply disappointed with you." She leaves in a huff.

"My," I move to Ann's side, "She's certainly moody today." Ann doesn't even acknowledge I exist. "Ann, dear, really. Whatever is the matter?"

"Tom has discovered my true identity," she does not speak above a whisper.

"Ah," I nod, now understanding, "I see."

"He has written me to tell me how ashamed he is that he was seen in public with a soon-to-be governess."

"Have I not yet explained to you what an imbecile he is?" I wrap a comforting arm around my friend's shoulders.

"But he's not," she brings her head up at last and looks at me with such wistfulness. "He's a good, decent man with a very good head on his shoulders and a respectable name, and I've disgusted him." Her eyes began to tear.

"Oh, Ann," I embrace her, not having the slightest clue what else I could possibly do to aide her. "You will find someone else," I try lying, as a friend should. "You will find a handsome young man with a gigantic fortune and the heart of a knight who will love you simply because you are you."

"I love him, Gemma," she confesses to me, pulling out of our small hug and staring at me with a tear-stained face.

I open my mouth, but say nothing. I do not know what to say to her. Her love for my brother is most certainly doomed, and I do not want to inspire false hope within her that anything else is true. "If you wish," my throat is suddenly very dry. "I will speak to him. It is all I can offer you, I'm afraid, but perhaps--"

Thankfully, I do not need to make up a 'perhaps', because she throws her arms around me, this time in joy. "Oh, thank you, Gemma. You are truly a good friend!"

I fain a smile through the hug, trying desperately to think of what I could possibly say to Tom to convince him to love a poor, pudgy girl named Ann.

MY DREAMS HAVE, FOR THE MOST PART, STOPPED TERRIFYING ME TO NEAR DEATH since I have bound the magic. However, this pleasantry ends shortly after my vision of Pippa in flames.

Ann, Felicity, and I are all out in the forest behind Spence, the one Pippa was buried in. We are playing a nice game of hide-and-seek. Felicity is "it," and Anna and I are giggling and happy as we hide behind trees and rocks and things. Then, suddenly, I am out in the open--vulnerable. I believe Felicity to be nearby, and I feel the most intense fear.

I am frantic as I look around for somewhere to hide, but cannot seem to find anything. Then I notice Pippa's headstone, standing proud and alone. I take a step toward it, unsure if it would be proper to hide behind Pippa's memory.

"Gemma!" Pippa pops out from behind her headstone, wearing two, perfect white ribbons in her hair. "Come on!" she whispers, not wanting Felicity to hear. "You can hide with me." I quickly nod and crouch down with Pippa behind her gravestone. "She'll never find you here," she assures me.

But 'she' does find me. A dark cloud hovers off in the distance, and I point to it innocently, "It's going to rain."

Pippa then sees it, too. "Gemma, you have to run."

"Run?" I am confused. "What do you mean?"

"It's her, Gemma! Run!"

The cloud grows. I leave Pippa and run, just as she told me to. I can't see a thing as I run--the whole world is a blur to my sides. I know I should be fearing the dark cloud that Pippa seems to be terrified by, but I find I am more afraid of Felicity finding me. Whatever the reason, I run until my legs cannot carry me anymore, and then I stop.

"Gemma!" to my horror, it's Felicity's voice. "I've found you!" When I turn to see her, Ann is by her side; both of them are smiling. "You gave me a good fight, Most High," she seems so sweet; I don't even notice that she has called me, 'Most High.' "But you knew I would find you in the end. I always do." I am almost in tears, but I don't know why. She is being so kind. "Now, dear, hold still." I cannot move. My body freezes. Felicity narrows her eyes at me, examining me. After a short while she makes a sound of approval and nods to Ann.

Ann nods in return and makes her way to me. With a smile, she rips my dress down the middle, exposing my undergarments. I am mortified, but cannot move to cover myself. Ann moves aside, and Felicity stands before me. Still smiling, she quickly plunges her hand through my chest. The pain is immeasurable, and I try to cry out, but cannot.

"Gemma!" It is Pippa, running up to the scene, horrified. "Most High!" She sounds mournful.

"It's all right, Pip," Felicity pulls her arm out; it is covered in my blood. "She's a good heart." I look closer at the red mass in Felicity's hand and realize it is what she says: my heart. I now let out a piercing scream, apparently now able to.

Then, at last, I am a mess of sweat, yelling in my bed. I collect myself, and walk over to Ann's bed. I shake her awake and, without explanation, tell her that we need to meet. She, suddenly excited, gets up out of bed, and we go together to wake Felicity.



"A dream," Felicity huffs as she leads the way to the caves behind Spence, our original meeting place. "You come into my room at the middle of the night to drag me out into the cold, so that you can tell me about a dream you had?" She is furious, and starring me hard in the eye.

"It was a very scary dream," I try desperately.

"You said Pippa was in it," Ann bravely attempts to help.

"I don't care if the Queen was in it! It was a dream! Why on Earth do I need to hear about it?" Felicity throws her hands up, but then continues walking on towards the caves, knowing we will follow.

"Well," a new thought forms in my head, "It's not so much about you hearing the dream; it's more a reconnecting meeting, I think."

Felicity stops and turns. She pauses for a moment as if she trying to figure out why exactly I have three heads. "Reconnecting? What are you talking about?"

"I don't know. I just want to make sure that we're all on good terms. You know, friends?"

This time when she looks at me I can only think one thing. _Please, oh please, Felicity; don't rip out my heart._


End file.
